INT. POLICE STATION EARLY MORNING

THE CHARGE ROOM

A station sergeant is standing by a table with Jean and Vera. He pushes two bail forms over to them.

STN.SGT. : Just sign there...

Jean and Vera each sign a form.

STN.SGT. : …And you realise you’re responsible for them both being at court on Monday morning.

JEAN : Yes Sergeant.

The Station Sergeant calls to a Constable acting as Jailer.

The P.C. goes to a door marked DETENTION ROOM and unlocks it. Sid and Baines still dishevelled and covered in food come out.

BAINES : You realise of course that this is an outrage. I shall sue the police for wrongful arrest.

Vera’s nerves are at breaking pitch. She turns on Baines savagely.

VERA : Oh shut up!

Baines mouth drops at this mutiny.

SID : Well I agree with him,it’s an outrage…

JEAN : And you shut up too.

Sid also looks astonished.

The Station Sergeant permits himself a smile.

STN.SGT. : Goodnight ladies.

SID : Night? It’s pitch daylight!

Scene 215

EXT. SURBURBAN STREET EARLY MORNING

Sid’s car is being driven at a furious pace.

Scene 216

INT. SID’S CAR EARLY MORNING

A heated discussion is in progress

JEAN : …And if they want to get married there’s not a thing we can do about it.

SID : Who said they were getting married?

JEAN : Mike did.

SID : Well I didn’t hear him.

JEAN : No you were too busy behaving like a lunatic.

Scene 217

EXT. SURBURBAN STREET EARLY MORNING

Sid’s car swerves round a corner at speed.

Scene 218

INT. SID’S CAR EARLY MORNING

Jean clutches at the seat for support.

JEAN : And mind how you drive or you’ll be up in court for that as well. Vera says…

SID : Who the hell’s Vera?

JEAN : Kate’s mother.

SID : Oh, it’s Vera now… You’ve got very thick all of a sudden.

JEAN : Yes… We had quite a chat waiting to bail you out.

Scene 219

EXT. SURBURBAN STREET EARLY MORNING

Baines’ car is being driven at a furious pace.

Scene 220

INT. BAINES’ CAR EARLY MORNING

A similar heated argument is in progress.

VERA : He may not be your idea of a suitable match. But at least he hasn’t been in prison.

BAINES : I was not in prison. They put us in the detention room.

VERA : Well you might be in prison before it’s finished.

BAINES : Oh rubbish. It was self defence. Sidney and I have agreed…

VERA : Oh it’s Sidney now…

BAINES : Mr.Abbott and I have agreed that if we both stick to the same story we shall get away with it. The owner was entirely to blame… and furthermore… (Baines takes his eyes off the road to emphasise his point to Vera) …HE threw the pie that hit the Sergeant.

VERA : (Screams) Look out.

Scene 221

EXT. CROSSROADS WHITBY AVENUE EARLY MORNING

Sid’s car and Baines’ car approach the crossroads from different streets, at speed. They collide. Baines and Sid get out. There is a moment of silence as they look at their cars and the look at each other. Vera and Jean get out and await the terrible quarrel. Baines takes a deep breath.

BAINES : My fault I’m afraid Sidney.

SID : No, no, Ronald… My fault entirely.

Jean and Vera look at each other, unable to believe their ears.

Scene 222

INT. HALL ‘MON REPOS’ EARLY MORNING

The party is long over. Sally is tidying up. She picks up empty teacups and glasses from the stairs and puts them on a tray.The front door opens. Sid and Jean enter. Sid still looking dishevelled.

SALLY : (Astonished) Where on earth have you been Daddy?... What happened?

JEAN : Mike is marrying that girl next door.

Sally drops the tray and her mouth falls open in surprise.